Why Healing Feels so Heavy
There is a lot of encouragement around healing and it’s not because those who are encouraging you don’t realize what you’re facing. We know it sucks some days.
You have to give yourself a little grace. You’re doing a lot, no matter where you are on this journey of going inward; going inward is hard and scary not to mention you’re trying to follow through with small goals you are keeping to yourself. That’s a lot. I know it is.
You’re shedding. You’re looking at yourself differently. You’re starting to see your patterns, you’re paying more attention to your reactions, your triggers, your emotions. You’re digging into your past so you can understand why you do the things you do. You’re soaking up new information to help you. You are doing a lot. The shedding of past self alone is a lot. There must be space to grieve this when it comes up. Allow yourself to feel. It is so important.
Sometimes I’ll get new followers who go back into the depths of my Instagram (you can too) and I’ll be reminded of how dark the days were when I first started my healing journey. I’m reminded of how hard it was. I know it’s hard and it’s okay. It’s okay because you are going to feel better, you are going to understand yourself, you are going to heal.
Anyone who is called to go inward will experience healing, I truly believe it. Once you reach a higher level of consciousness, you don’t go back down a level, it only compounds and grows and so do you.
I just want to acknowledge you while you’re on this journey because I have been on this journey and I am STILL on this journey. It doesn’t end. Life is a constant lesson.
If you’re feeling everything intensely or you have days where you are grieving your past self or you have days that you want to give up because it’s so emotional… pause. Pause. Pause.
You don’t have to do it all at once. Take something off your plate if you can. Make sure you have some form of self-care. This can be taking a walk, going to a workout class, cooking yourself dinner, calling a friend, painting, writing, or reading. Do something for you, you will need this.
My outlet is poetry. Poetry gave me a voice. Poetry allowed me to turn my pain into something beautiful. Find what works for you.
I see you working, I see it in my DMs and comments every single day. I see you, I know you are putting in the work. I know you are curious and I know it probably feels like your brain is on fire somedays. It’s normal. It’s also normal that you might be feeling like you want to be alone or that you’re feeling isolated from some friends, maybe even family. This is also normal.
You are doing a lot of self-reflection and you are doing a lot of looking at yourself. It’s natural that you are craving time alone to do this work.
Keep showing up, I promise you it’s worth it. If you need some evidence feel free to poke around on my Instagram. You’ll clearly see my process. There’s no shame, I hope it encourages you to keep going.